The mood and the moment.
They both influence each other, sometimes one more than the other, but they always push and pull, one orbiting the other, always in motion. I’ve written a lot about how certain songs cement themselves into your psyche depending upon how profound a life moment might be during the time that song is playing. Sometimes they are happy moments, sometimes relaxed, sometimes triumphant. Other times they are loss. Or grief. Sadness. Despair.
Tonight I lay in bed next to my my nine year old daughter, holding her while she cried herself to sleep, trying to cope as best she could with the first deep loss of her life, the sudden passing of one of our family cats, our green eyed, gray furred cat we named Meeshak. My daughter, so often very brave, tonight lay there sobbing…. Missing, missing, missing, her beautiful kitty who just the night before was curled up by her side, keeping her warm while the rain pelted the window and the trees bent in the cold wind. I tried my best to console her, reliving memories, helping her drift to sleep in hopes that she would be able to dream of Meeshak and her, together again.
For my part, I am equally torn by a deep loss, trying to soothe my own soul with the same, I hope wise, words I share with her and the rest of my family, remembering how she loved to plop herself on my belly as I typed away on my laptop. So I miss her while I type up my weekly post tonight, my belly cold where it was usually warm.
It just so happens that I had been listening to quite a bit of Emiliana Torrini lately and one song had been on steady repeat in particular, that being this week’s Tunesday pick, “Birds” from her excellent 2008 release Me and Armini. The song had popped up on the radio sometime last week it suited my melancholy perfectly. I had no idea that it would end up being that defining song for this awful moment.
Emiliana, the Icelandic/Itallian musician (who I must mention also has the new great album Tookah out this year), intentionally or not, seems to capture grief and loss in “Birds” for me as perfectly as any song can. It’s an indirect yet subtly gorgeous track which aligns itself with my mood and the moment. Now on my daughter’s playlist, I can only hope that she finds as much solace in it as I do.